First, let me just state that I do not have an agenda. I have no narrative There is nothing I want. You (reader) have no idea who or what I am. I'm not some fucking straw man in some identity politics camp or whatever. I'm not a social justice warrior, so don't think you know I'm giving you some "current narrative" or "I want everybody to be queers." When you assume that you'll only demonstrate you have no idea what I'm talking about.
I once met someone who expressed an interest in *being* a futanari, and they expressed that they found that troubling since they didn't want to be considered anything other than a heterosexual. They wanted a womanly body and a dick, maybe a vagina, and to still have the ability to have sex with women. It really wasn't that complicated. I think after that, I read around other threads, and while people were supportive, this person just kept trying to defend their masculinity or were looking for some kind of confirmation in their masculinity. They attacked everyone in the comment thread who tried to help them and support them in feeling secure in whatever they decided to do with their sexuality. They kept taking what everyone else was saying and thinking they were calling them "mentally unstable." Let's get one foundational thing clear: Being gender fluid, or trans, or bi, or whatever, doesn't make anyone "mentally unstable." I shouldn't have to tell anyone that. You have a lot of other issues to work through if I need to tell you that.
So when I stepped in and spoke up, it was because while I understood where everyone else was coming from with "hey maybe you are gay," or "maybe you should cross-dress," etc., helping people to maybe admit to themselves that they may have some homoerotic tastes, I just wanted to point out that that kind of support is ultimately not helpful. It comes, I hope, with the best intentions, but it's not very helpful. And so to protect this person from people just flat out labeling them as "gay," I literally told them, "hey just because you want boobs and a womanly body, a vagina, and also a dick, that doesn't make you gay..." It makes you curious. And that's ok. You (anyone) should feel free to explore your own personal sexuality. You should be able to be secure enough in your own identity to have these feelings, and for them to just be feelings. You don't have to change anything about yourself because you're having a sexual fantasy. Like if, say, hypothetically, you wanted to suck dick just to be sure you didn't enjoy sucking dick, and you fantasized about sucking dick, or you dreamed about sucking your girlfriend's dick, none of that makes you gay. It makes you curious. And you can suck dick and realize you really prefer pussy and never go back to sucking dick. You can explore what it's like to be fucked in the ass. It's really not that complicated. And we over-bloat this non-issue with words and labels. Science doesn't give a fuck what you call yourself. I don't give a fuck what you decide to do, and I'm not trying to "make anyone queer." Again, if you feel that way, it just demonstrates you have deeper issues and ignorance if you think that there are people out in this world who really have some kind of "queer agenda," which is completely fucked on a lot of levels and really disgusting. Like... if you imagine a queer man came up to you and was like "hey I went through a lot of shit to feel comfortable with who I am, and if you're going through that too, I just want you to know it's ok," and you just threw what they said back in their face with "I'm not mentally unstable like you! You just want everyone to be queer so you can fuck everyone!" If that's what you imagine queer people do, then I'm completely speechless. Sadly, I'm not surprised someone like you exists. But you're deeply, deeply disturbed if that's how you think. I really can't get around that. I know it's insulting, but there is no alternative when I see that level of hatred and willful lack of understanding about other people...
And that's a shame because my ultimate point is actually as hard, and unadorned, and rock bottom, and scientific as it comes. And I can see why someone would take science, the ever refining process in the search for truth, and since it doesn't offer the absolutisms they're comfortable with, confuse it by thinking there's some kind of "agenda" or "changing narrative." Like scientists move the goal post a lot. Almost all science represents the most complete, but ultimately incomplete knowledge that people have from that time. One should understand the current findings of their day, and the history as to why we understand what we understand. For example, the idea that there are just two sexes, two gender identities, a man and a woman. This is an extremely old observation. It is succinct and matter of fact, and plainly observable to ancient man, just like a flat horizon on the Earth. And much like a Flat Earth theory, it is also wrong and represents very little thought on the matter. It doesn't match with the observations we've currently made. And since, thankfully, we live in an age where we aren't burning transgender people or hermaphrodites at the stake for being different or "mentally unstable," we've learned a lot about psychology and the mind. While there are predominantly just penises and vaginas in the world, with rare exceptions, those organs on your crotch actually have little to do with the psychology that ultimately develops in your brain. There are a lot of ways a brain can be wired. It's an extremely complicated organ. It took millions of years to arrange into just the form that it's in right now. Science, and evolution, and nature don't care that we have made up a language to define man and woman, or gay, or straight, or trans, or whatever. I shouldn't have to tell you that the human body and the human brain don't quite match up to the fucking language we speak, or the ideas and understanding we have about them. You might say something like, "But nature has a road map. It has a recipe for making people. It has DNA. Somehow gay or trans people exist in defiance of that recipe for making a person the 'right' way. They have willed themselves against Nature." Nature is another idea we made up. It doesn't exist. Evolution is not a process with any special goal in mind. It has no mind. This is the ape brain trying to personify ideas. Chemistry and biology are just cause and effect processes that cook up whatever manages to come into being, and that's that. Billions of years of evolution to make you and the people you carelessly judge every day. And beyond that, there's a lifetime of experiences and external factors and variables that all contribute to the ultimate expression of those genes in a person, which make up their psychology and their identity. Given all of these uncountable things, almost anything is possible.
Like new species of birds, new discoveries are made all the time, and we have only observed a fraction of what actually exists in the world. To think we know everything about a certain subject is to demonstrate our ignorance in it. Humans will continue to evolve and change. So when you meet a person that doesn't meet your preconceived judgments of what a person can be, and you deny that that person is what they claim to be, you might as well be looking at a new discovery of a species of bird you've never seen before and try telling that bird they cannot exist. The world isn't wrong for existing the way it is. Your small understanding of the world is. Your specific psychological profile represents nature's own experimentation and a step forward in that evolution. Like it or not, there is no platonic ideal of what a "man" is. There is no preserving it because it doesn't exist. And none of us would fit its definition even if there was one.
All I hope for in preserving this rant is that it will find the people who need it and help open the minds of those who think they don't.
TL;DR: If you don't understand and are worried by the fact that you want to look and feel like a woman while you still fuck other women, or do or don't want a dick, or do or don't want to suck dick, or any of the other infinite ways you can experience or fantasize about experiencing pleasure, my point from the beginning was that you shouldn't even waste time worrying about what it means to feel that way, shut the fuck up, and just enjoy feeling that way because finding a title or label to call yourself by is really exhausting and unfun and not actually representative of any truth in the universe, just a convenient shorthand we apes use to define our favorite ways to fuck or be fucked. Life is too short to worry about whatever made-up words we use to apply to ourselves. Time spent figuring this shit out is time we could have spent enjoying what life has to offer, enjoying one another in all of the endless ways we can. Never be afraid of your curiosity, your fantasies, your thoughts. I know it's overplayed, but never be ashamed of who you are, and never apologize for liking what you like.